Life...
Friday, June 24, 2005
Haven't posted in a long while....
I just put this blog back available to see.... I figure that after a year all that my exboyfriend's friends have said about him can be exposed because by now all hard feelings felt after reading those things should be just left alone. So if by some random chance he stumbles upon this blog, I hope that his feelings do not get hurt.
Anyway on to me....
I'm seriously debating on randomly going somewhere this weekend. I'm not sure where, but somewhere away maybe Chattanooga. I'm just not having a good week and I think that maybe getting away to think about things would help.
So yesterday I took a long drive. My boyfriend of a year tells me that he thinks we should see less of each other and that and I quote, "we act like we are married and I just don't want the new to wear out" Well this upset me greatly. He and I have been dating a year and he is just now saying that. It pissed me off...That is just not something you say after a year of dating and practically see everyday. Had he said that a couple of months into the relationship I wouldn't have thought anything about it. So I layed on the bed with Kasey (the dog) and just cried for a little while and then thought to myself that I just needed to drive. So I gathered my work clothes up for the next day because I was contemplating coming back that night, and attempted to walk out the door. Kasey followed, and Jack saw me trying to leave and he asked me if I was leaving twice and I finally told him yes. When I got to my car Kasey had followed me, and Jack told me that I didn't have to leave. I told him I know, but that I just needed to be by myself. Then I got in my car and drove for two hours with my cell phone cut off. I drove through five counties: Davidson, Rutherford, Wilson, Cannon, and Dekalb. I made a huge circle, so that I could think and when I was finished I turned my cell phone on. Ten minutes later my phone rang, It was Jack. He told me that I had scared him because he couldn't get a hold of me. I just needed to be alone....I wasn't joking. Don't get me wrong I did get a good feeling knowing that he had at least tried to call me while I was gone. I just don't understand why he thought that I wouldn't get upset when he told me that. When I finally got back to him, he told me that he didn't mean it in a bad way. That he must not know how to say things the right way. He just wants me to hang out with my friends more. That is great and all but there are very few people I care to associate with anymore. I just recently found a couple of friends I hadn't talked to in forever, but everytime they want to go out and do something I am working. Of course that is just the way it works I guess. Like tonight I have to work, but I was supposed to go to a Bachelorette party or out to the movies with one of my other friends who is getting married next weekend. The only person that I get to hang out with on a regular occassion is Annie. That is about it other than the people I work with, but I don't hang out with them after work. I see them enough at work, and I don't care to them any more than that. No offense to them, but that is just the way I feel. Oh well I am finished ranting for now.
I just put this blog back available to see.... I figure that after a year all that my exboyfriend's friends have said about him can be exposed because by now all hard feelings felt after reading those things should be just left alone. So if by some random chance he stumbles upon this blog, I hope that his feelings do not get hurt.
Anyway on to me....
I'm seriously debating on randomly going somewhere this weekend. I'm not sure where, but somewhere away maybe Chattanooga. I'm just not having a good week and I think that maybe getting away to think about things would help.
So yesterday I took a long drive. My boyfriend of a year tells me that he thinks we should see less of each other and that and I quote, "we act like we are married and I just don't want the new to wear out" Well this upset me greatly. He and I have been dating a year and he is just now saying that. It pissed me off...That is just not something you say after a year of dating and practically see everyday. Had he said that a couple of months into the relationship I wouldn't have thought anything about it. So I layed on the bed with Kasey (the dog) and just cried for a little while and then thought to myself that I just needed to drive. So I gathered my work clothes up for the next day because I was contemplating coming back that night, and attempted to walk out the door. Kasey followed, and Jack saw me trying to leave and he asked me if I was leaving twice and I finally told him yes. When I got to my car Kasey had followed me, and Jack told me that I didn't have to leave. I told him I know, but that I just needed to be by myself. Then I got in my car and drove for two hours with my cell phone cut off. I drove through five counties: Davidson, Rutherford, Wilson, Cannon, and Dekalb. I made a huge circle, so that I could think and when I was finished I turned my cell phone on. Ten minutes later my phone rang, It was Jack. He told me that I had scared him because he couldn't get a hold of me. I just needed to be alone....I wasn't joking. Don't get me wrong I did get a good feeling knowing that he had at least tried to call me while I was gone. I just don't understand why he thought that I wouldn't get upset when he told me that. When I finally got back to him, he told me that he didn't mean it in a bad way. That he must not know how to say things the right way. He just wants me to hang out with my friends more. That is great and all but there are very few people I care to associate with anymore. I just recently found a couple of friends I hadn't talked to in forever, but everytime they want to go out and do something I am working. Of course that is just the way it works I guess. Like tonight I have to work, but I was supposed to go to a Bachelorette party or out to the movies with one of my other friends who is getting married next weekend. The only person that I get to hang out with on a regular occassion is Annie. That is about it other than the people I work with, but I don't hang out with them after work. I see them enough at work, and I don't care to them any more than that. No offense to them, but that is just the way I feel. Oh well I am finished ranting for now.
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