Life...
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Well I am over at Annie's house, and Jack just left. I wish he could have stayed with me all day, but of course he had to go to work and I have to be at work at 12. That's just the way the work world works.
Last night I came over to Annie's. We watched Mystic River (which was awesome) and ate Chinese food from my favorite Chinese place. Then Annie and I made No Bake Cheesecake (yum) while both of the guys were trying to fall asleep on the couch. Bubba tried to make Jack think he was the only one falling asleep, but in reality Bubba fell asleep a couple of times too. After everyone gets their cheesecake, Jack went to sleep. I stayed up talking to Annie about Kristoffer and his parents. I told her about how at Christmas I got Kristoffer all of this stuff. I got him fun stuff and stuff he needed. My parents even bought him stuff. Hell he had more gifts at my house than he did at his own. I got nothing from him I knew I wasn't getting anything for Christmas, but I was told I would get something for my birthday. In January, I found this ring at JC Penney that I really wanted, and I thought I would just buy it for myself whenever I got the money. It was pretty cheap because it was on clearance. Anyway I told him I had found this ring that I was going to get, and he told me not to get it because he would just get it for me for my birthday. This kind of irritated me, and I was kind of ok with it. Irritated me because I knew if we broke up again that I wouldn't want to wear it, but ok with it because I wasn't having to spend money on it. Well whenever he finally got it for me which I think was after my birthday he acted all pissy about spending the money. It was only like eighty dollars which I didn't think was too much to ask considering I had spent that money on him for Christmas. Then there was the watch, but I don't feel like getting into that. Anyway Annie and I just talked about how much effort I put into that relationship with couple's counseling (which is a good thing it helped get alot out) and dealing with his parents talk about me and my family. We did figure out why his dad didn't really like me though. It is because I wasn't submissive. I have an opinion. I say that, but I still feel like I was more submissive than I would have liked to be. I think that is because he would try to make it seem like my opinion didn't matter, and this caused me to not ever give my opinion. He would ask for my opinion on things every now and then, but I wouldn't have one. The two of us breaking up has made me a stronger person. I have begun to find my voice again. Whenever a person asks my opinion and I can give it to them I feel this sense of power. It may seem weird to some people to hear that, but that is honestly how I feel. Anyway enough about that......After Annie and I finished talking, I was about to get ready to go to sleep, but Annie was like lets drink something so we started drinking gin and playing rummy. At one point Jack scared the shit out of me because he came in the room and Annie looked up and pointed then I looked back and I screamed I thought she pointing to like a bug or something, but apparently she saw Jack. After our second hand of Rummy where I beat Annie again, I went to sleep. Jack said I tossed and turned a whole lot and he couldn't get me to tell him if I was ok or not. I scared him. Then he said that he was trying to pull the cover off of me because I was hot, but I wouldn't let him I just pulled the cover back on me. I just remember thinking at the time that, "I'm not hot why is he pulling the cover off of me." Well I guess I was I just didn't want to admit it, or maybe I just wanted to sleep. Whenever he woke me up this morning, he told me that he had a weird dream that I had a sister and I kept telling him that my sister didn't think it was going to work between us. <----Trust me I don't think this way. He is too good to me for me to feel that way.
Last night I came over to Annie's. We watched Mystic River (which was awesome) and ate Chinese food from my favorite Chinese place. Then Annie and I made No Bake Cheesecake (yum) while both of the guys were trying to fall asleep on the couch. Bubba tried to make Jack think he was the only one falling asleep, but in reality Bubba fell asleep a couple of times too. After everyone gets their cheesecake, Jack went to sleep. I stayed up talking to Annie about Kristoffer and his parents. I told her about how at Christmas I got Kristoffer all of this stuff. I got him fun stuff and stuff he needed. My parents even bought him stuff. Hell he had more gifts at my house than he did at his own. I got nothing from him I knew I wasn't getting anything for Christmas, but I was told I would get something for my birthday. In January, I found this ring at JC Penney that I really wanted, and I thought I would just buy it for myself whenever I got the money. It was pretty cheap because it was on clearance. Anyway I told him I had found this ring that I was going to get, and he told me not to get it because he would just get it for me for my birthday. This kind of irritated me, and I was kind of ok with it. Irritated me because I knew if we broke up again that I wouldn't want to wear it, but ok with it because I wasn't having to spend money on it. Well whenever he finally got it for me which I think was after my birthday he acted all pissy about spending the money. It was only like eighty dollars which I didn't think was too much to ask considering I had spent that money on him for Christmas. Then there was the watch, but I don't feel like getting into that. Anyway Annie and I just talked about how much effort I put into that relationship with couple's counseling (which is a good thing it helped get alot out) and dealing with his parents talk about me and my family. We did figure out why his dad didn't really like me though. It is because I wasn't submissive. I have an opinion. I say that, but I still feel like I was more submissive than I would have liked to be. I think that is because he would try to make it seem like my opinion didn't matter, and this caused me to not ever give my opinion. He would ask for my opinion on things every now and then, but I wouldn't have one. The two of us breaking up has made me a stronger person. I have begun to find my voice again. Whenever a person asks my opinion and I can give it to them I feel this sense of power. It may seem weird to some people to hear that, but that is honestly how I feel. Anyway enough about that......After Annie and I finished talking, I was about to get ready to go to sleep, but Annie was like lets drink something so we started drinking gin and playing rummy. At one point Jack scared the shit out of me because he came in the room and Annie looked up and pointed then I looked back and I screamed I thought she pointing to like a bug or something, but apparently she saw Jack. After our second hand of Rummy where I beat Annie again, I went to sleep. Jack said I tossed and turned a whole lot and he couldn't get me to tell him if I was ok or not. I scared him. Then he said that he was trying to pull the cover off of me because I was hot, but I wouldn't let him I just pulled the cover back on me. I just remember thinking at the time that, "I'm not hot why is he pulling the cover off of me." Well I guess I was I just didn't want to admit it, or maybe I just wanted to sleep. Whenever he woke me up this morning, he told me that he had a weird dream that I had a sister and I kept telling him that my sister didn't think it was going to work between us. <----Trust me I don't think this way. He is too good to me for me to feel that way.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Well now that it is June 21....I haven't written in forever.
I have been having the time of my life this summer. I am sure that my parents have noticed that since I am never at home. They have even told me to make the decision of either living at home or not. So I am now trying to keep the peace by trying to sleep at my house more. I have been spending most of my time that I am not at work with Jack. Of course I work almost 50 hours a week. Lets see the latest updates.
Christina is still upset with me about dating Jack, but there isn't really anything I can do about that. I wish she would just come to her senses, or better yet do what she said she would do...."not let a guy come between our friendship"
Kristoffer still hasn't called or spoken to me. I did see him at church on Wednesday, and Jack was with me. He seemed a little irritated about the fact that I brought Jack. He kept flipping through his bible like he always does when he gets irritated. I will never forget the day I came into the christian center and he was there. He was sitting in one of the big comfy chairs flipping through a magazine. I think he flipped through it like 12 times. Anyway Jack said that he thought Kristoffer gave him a dirty look. Which honestly wouldn't surprise me, but I don't know why he didn't just give me the dirty look. Probably because he knows I would have said something after service. Sean did call me again a couple of weeks ago. He said that Kristoffer had come by, but he didn't answer the door because it was Sunday and Kristoffer had arrived unannounced. Then he said he just thought he would call me and see what I was up to. I was over at Jack's mom's house eating. That's Jack always wanting to grill out...mmmmmm.
Jack is wonderful. I couldn't ask for a better guy. I have so much fun with him. I love going over to him mom's house and hanging out there. His family is so nice. He took me out to Silverado's the other night, and I had such a good time trying to figure out this one dance. Ok so the slow dancing was wonderful too. He is so sweet. God it makes me sick. I am just so not used to it. Don't get me wrong though it is a good sick. I love the way he treats me. Anyway on Sunday he didn't feel that great and I think after we went fishing with his dad we pretty much slept the rest of the day away. I enjoyed the sleep since I had been woken up early on my days off. <----I really don't mind too much. Especially if it is a nice wake up rather than Jennifer get up. I spent the entire weekend with him and now I am home sadly. I can't wait till my parents go out of town for a week. He is coming to spend the week with me at my house. It is going to be wonderful. I am going to try to work only mornings that week. Then the next week I am going to stay over at Annie's since Bubba is going to Maine.
Well the work situation is going almost ok right now and the only reason is that Annie is working with me now and she is the second assistant. So now I have an Allie and a few spies. I am planning on making another blog for work though so that I will have somewhere to post all of the crap that keeps going on at work. I am so tired of it. Jack is my escape.
I have been having the time of my life this summer. I am sure that my parents have noticed that since I am never at home. They have even told me to make the decision of either living at home or not. So I am now trying to keep the peace by trying to sleep at my house more. I have been spending most of my time that I am not at work with Jack. Of course I work almost 50 hours a week. Lets see the latest updates.
Christina is still upset with me about dating Jack, but there isn't really anything I can do about that. I wish she would just come to her senses, or better yet do what she said she would do...."not let a guy come between our friendship"
Kristoffer still hasn't called or spoken to me. I did see him at church on Wednesday, and Jack was with me. He seemed a little irritated about the fact that I brought Jack. He kept flipping through his bible like he always does when he gets irritated. I will never forget the day I came into the christian center and he was there. He was sitting in one of the big comfy chairs flipping through a magazine. I think he flipped through it like 12 times. Anyway Jack said that he thought Kristoffer gave him a dirty look. Which honestly wouldn't surprise me, but I don't know why he didn't just give me the dirty look. Probably because he knows I would have said something after service. Sean did call me again a couple of weeks ago. He said that Kristoffer had come by, but he didn't answer the door because it was Sunday and Kristoffer had arrived unannounced. Then he said he just thought he would call me and see what I was up to. I was over at Jack's mom's house eating. That's Jack always wanting to grill out...mmmmmm.
Jack is wonderful. I couldn't ask for a better guy. I have so much fun with him. I love going over to him mom's house and hanging out there. His family is so nice. He took me out to Silverado's the other night, and I had such a good time trying to figure out this one dance. Ok so the slow dancing was wonderful too. He is so sweet. God it makes me sick. I am just so not used to it. Don't get me wrong though it is a good sick. I love the way he treats me. Anyway on Sunday he didn't feel that great and I think after we went fishing with his dad we pretty much slept the rest of the day away. I enjoyed the sleep since I had been woken up early on my days off. <----I really don't mind too much. Especially if it is a nice wake up rather than Jennifer get up. I spent the entire weekend with him and now I am home sadly. I can't wait till my parents go out of town for a week. He is coming to spend the week with me at my house. It is going to be wonderful. I am going to try to work only mornings that week. Then the next week I am going to stay over at Annie's since Bubba is going to Maine.
Well the work situation is going almost ok right now and the only reason is that Annie is working with me now and she is the second assistant. So now I have an Allie and a few spies. I am planning on making another blog for work though so that I will have somewhere to post all of the crap that keeps going on at work. I am so tired of it. Jack is my escape.
