Life...
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Well I am over at Annie's house, and Jack just left. I wish he could have stayed with me all day, but of course he had to go to work and I have to be at work at 12. That's just the way the work world works.
Last night I came over to Annie's. We watched Mystic River (which was awesome) and ate Chinese food from my favorite Chinese place. Then Annie and I made No Bake Cheesecake (yum) while both of the guys were trying to fall asleep on the couch. Bubba tried to make Jack think he was the only one falling asleep, but in reality Bubba fell asleep a couple of times too. After everyone gets their cheesecake, Jack went to sleep. I stayed up talking to Annie about Kristoffer and his parents. I told her about how at Christmas I got Kristoffer all of this stuff. I got him fun stuff and stuff he needed. My parents even bought him stuff. Hell he had more gifts at my house than he did at his own. I got nothing from him I knew I wasn't getting anything for Christmas, but I was told I would get something for my birthday. In January, I found this ring at JC Penney that I really wanted, and I thought I would just buy it for myself whenever I got the money. It was pretty cheap because it was on clearance. Anyway I told him I had found this ring that I was going to get, and he told me not to get it because he would just get it for me for my birthday. This kind of irritated me, and I was kind of ok with it. Irritated me because I knew if we broke up again that I wouldn't want to wear it, but ok with it because I wasn't having to spend money on it. Well whenever he finally got it for me which I think was after my birthday he acted all pissy about spending the money. It was only like eighty dollars which I didn't think was too much to ask considering I had spent that money on him for Christmas. Then there was the watch, but I don't feel like getting into that. Anyway Annie and I just talked about how much effort I put into that relationship with couple's counseling (which is a good thing it helped get alot out) and dealing with his parents talk about me and my family. We did figure out why his dad didn't really like me though. It is because I wasn't submissive. I have an opinion. I say that, but I still feel like I was more submissive than I would have liked to be. I think that is because he would try to make it seem like my opinion didn't matter, and this caused me to not ever give my opinion. He would ask for my opinion on things every now and then, but I wouldn't have one. The two of us breaking up has made me a stronger person. I have begun to find my voice again. Whenever a person asks my opinion and I can give it to them I feel this sense of power. It may seem weird to some people to hear that, but that is honestly how I feel. Anyway enough about that......After Annie and I finished talking, I was about to get ready to go to sleep, but Annie was like lets drink something so we started drinking gin and playing rummy. At one point Jack scared the shit out of me because he came in the room and Annie looked up and pointed then I looked back and I screamed I thought she pointing to like a bug or something, but apparently she saw Jack. After our second hand of Rummy where I beat Annie again, I went to sleep. Jack said I tossed and turned a whole lot and he couldn't get me to tell him if I was ok or not. I scared him. Then he said that he was trying to pull the cover off of me because I was hot, but I wouldn't let him I just pulled the cover back on me. I just remember thinking at the time that, "I'm not hot why is he pulling the cover off of me." Well I guess I was I just didn't want to admit it, or maybe I just wanted to sleep. Whenever he woke me up this morning, he told me that he had a weird dream that I had a sister and I kept telling him that my sister didn't think it was going to work between us. <----Trust me I don't think this way. He is too good to me for me to feel that way.
Last night I came over to Annie's. We watched Mystic River (which was awesome) and ate Chinese food from my favorite Chinese place. Then Annie and I made No Bake Cheesecake (yum) while both of the guys were trying to fall asleep on the couch. Bubba tried to make Jack think he was the only one falling asleep, but in reality Bubba fell asleep a couple of times too. After everyone gets their cheesecake, Jack went to sleep. I stayed up talking to Annie about Kristoffer and his parents. I told her about how at Christmas I got Kristoffer all of this stuff. I got him fun stuff and stuff he needed. My parents even bought him stuff. Hell he had more gifts at my house than he did at his own. I got nothing from him I knew I wasn't getting anything for Christmas, but I was told I would get something for my birthday. In January, I found this ring at JC Penney that I really wanted, and I thought I would just buy it for myself whenever I got the money. It was pretty cheap because it was on clearance. Anyway I told him I had found this ring that I was going to get, and he told me not to get it because he would just get it for me for my birthday. This kind of irritated me, and I was kind of ok with it. Irritated me because I knew if we broke up again that I wouldn't want to wear it, but ok with it because I wasn't having to spend money on it. Well whenever he finally got it for me which I think was after my birthday he acted all pissy about spending the money. It was only like eighty dollars which I didn't think was too much to ask considering I had spent that money on him for Christmas. Then there was the watch, but I don't feel like getting into that. Anyway Annie and I just talked about how much effort I put into that relationship with couple's counseling (which is a good thing it helped get alot out) and dealing with his parents talk about me and my family. We did figure out why his dad didn't really like me though. It is because I wasn't submissive. I have an opinion. I say that, but I still feel like I was more submissive than I would have liked to be. I think that is because he would try to make it seem like my opinion didn't matter, and this caused me to not ever give my opinion. He would ask for my opinion on things every now and then, but I wouldn't have one. The two of us breaking up has made me a stronger person. I have begun to find my voice again. Whenever a person asks my opinion and I can give it to them I feel this sense of power. It may seem weird to some people to hear that, but that is honestly how I feel. Anyway enough about that......After Annie and I finished talking, I was about to get ready to go to sleep, but Annie was like lets drink something so we started drinking gin and playing rummy. At one point Jack scared the shit out of me because he came in the room and Annie looked up and pointed then I looked back and I screamed I thought she pointing to like a bug or something, but apparently she saw Jack. After our second hand of Rummy where I beat Annie again, I went to sleep. Jack said I tossed and turned a whole lot and he couldn't get me to tell him if I was ok or not. I scared him. Then he said that he was trying to pull the cover off of me because I was hot, but I wouldn't let him I just pulled the cover back on me. I just remember thinking at the time that, "I'm not hot why is he pulling the cover off of me." Well I guess I was I just didn't want to admit it, or maybe I just wanted to sleep. Whenever he woke me up this morning, he told me that he had a weird dream that I had a sister and I kept telling him that my sister didn't think it was going to work between us. <----Trust me I don't think this way. He is too good to me for me to feel that way.
Comments:
Post a Comment
